when i was younger, around 13 years old, i had completely rejected the traditional female gender roles. or at least, that's how i viewed it. i was talking to a friend of mine, who was 7 years old at the time. she had asked me what was my favorite color, i said "blue" she said "noooooooo, you're supposed to like girly colors like pink" she asked me my favorite music and i said "rock" and she said "noooooo, you're supposed to like pop music." that experience remains in my mind to this day. gender is not whether we are male or female, but rather it is "the socially constructed cultural expectation associated with men and women." there is this preconceived idea of what a woman should act like, or what a man should act like. women should be passive, submissive, and cater to man's needs. whereas men should be athletic, aggressive, and provide for their family. women are seen as soft. men are supposed to be strong athletic. which is weird, because i don't portray the typical female gender role. if there was a scale
masculine ----------------------------------------------------------------------- feminine
i would probably hit somewhere smack dab in the middle...because while i do have feminine characteristics, i still enjoy things that are considered "manly"
the article "Night to His Day" it talks about the gender roles men and woman have in society and how this gender role dictates their lives, be it their career or how they act. it also makes mention of the inequality that there is between me and women "the devaluation of 'women' and the social domination of 'men"" we know that there is a big glass ceiling for women when it comes to the work that we do. women get 70 cents for every dollar a man makes. and yes, this is changing. but not that much. it seems that it will be years before women will ever be seen as equal to men. how much more with those who are gay or lesbian? according to society, they are completely against the norm. how much longer before everyone can be seen as equal? and will there ever be a time? its hard to say. as much as people wish for this equality, there's always someone who wants to be on top. someone always wants to be better.
the different between you and me: race is not biological.
race is an illusion. the video "Race: The Power of Illusion". there are people who tried to prove that race is based on a biological level. saying that the difference between a white person and a black person is based in their DNA. but in the video we see, that this is completely false.there can be more of a DNA difference between two white men, then between a white man and a black man. one thing i really liked in this video is when they talked about how its a continuous change and how if you look at the difference between "Norway and in the Tropics" of course you'll see the black and the white skin, but if you walk the distance between the two areas you wouldn't be able to say "this is the place in which we got from the dark race to the light race." meaning to say that we can't really separate ourselves based on race, into these 4 or 5 distinct groups. but its this preconceived idea that we grow up with that "this person belongs in this race'. And what's sad is that we still attach these meanings to different races. the article "The Hispanic Dropout Mystery" talks about how the majority of drop outs are mostly hispanics, and it has a lot to do with peer pressure because "they make you feel like a dumb mexican" the woman at the end of the video says that we can un-make race. but is that really possible? race is something that is (in a way) etched into our skin, into our way of thinking. its taught to us subconsciously. it seems highly unlikely that the idea of race will be going anywhere anytime soon.
high class > low class? where do you stand?
vs
vs
vswatching the video "People Like Us" shows me just how ignorant some people are to the class system in America. its true. we don't like to believe that this class system exists...it's taboo. but its there. there to separate us and give us something like a platform on which we build ourselves on. one thing that hit me was how they said that the choices we make can reveal a lot about the type of class we want to portray ourselves as being part of. in my experience, i loved looking at the fancy houses. i loved dreaming about having a big house, with a beautiful kitchen and living room, and a lavish bedroom. so according to that previously mentioned statement it reveals that i wanted to evoke the high class status. but think about it, is the "grass greener on the other side"? i know now that the more people have, the less secure you feel. you have more, you can lose more. its this insane amount of greed that makes us want more, never satisfied. i mean, do you really need that louis vuitton bag? do i really need a lavish home in order to be happy? and we pretend that this sort of class system doesn't exist. i liked the statement that its a lot like high school. how there are the different cliques. in reality, those cliques portray different classes. you have the preppy, jocks, academic people = high class. then you have the rejects = low class. the part about the Belles, i was dying with laughter with how the coach spoke about the Belles. how they weren't a clique, but a family "as long as i know the truth, i don't really care what the other people say". that's a very egotistical POV because she's already "at the top"... of course she doesn't care about what other people think.
in addition, reading the article "Cause of Death: Inequality" is really depressing. it basically talks about the connection between the type/amount of education a person has and the likely hood that this person would suffer from some sort of disease. the less education you have, the more likely you're going to die of health problems. and it is well known that not all classes have the same sort of education. the higher class you are, the better education you are able to afford, and the same is true for the opposite. the lower class you are, the lesser education you have. and not even talking about higher education, but starting from as low as pre school. this amount of inequality is disgusting. and its sad because we still have that mentality that, you earn whatever it is you get. so does this mean that if i'm in a lower class, i deserve to have less? it doesn't mean that i'm any less hardworking than say Donald Trump or Bill Gates. i just wasn't born into the "right class".
deviance: nimrods? rebels? or just different?
anytime i hear the word deviant i automatically think "negative". and this is natural for a lot of human beings to associate the word deviance with something that is negative, because all in all deviance is something that goes again social norms. of course, what is considered deviant is also dependent the time place and setting. that's why there isn't any set standard of what is considered deviant. these are some examples of things that are considered deviant in my time, place and setting.
1) atheism- for the longest time (okay more like between 1st - 5th grade) i didn't know about atheist. i didn't necessarily believe that everyone was a christian or whatever. i just always thought that everyone believed in some form of religion. when i moved back to new york city in the 6th grade is when i first encountered an atheist classmate. and this shocked me, not in the "WTF" kind of way but more like the "wow really?" kind of way because its my norm to have some form of religion.
2) teenage pregnancy- i've always known about teenage pregnancy. but the first time i encountered it in person was also in middle school (as you can tell, middle school was a tough time). one of my classmates was reportedly pregnant. word spread like wildfire and she became shunned and looked down upon. because its "not normal" for a teenager to get pregnant.
3) LGBT - this is on the fence. being homosexual is now becoming more common especially here in new york, because heck, new york is full of people who embrace differences. but in general the social norm in america is to be a straight, heterosexual person.
4) not supporting LGBT community- i decided to separate this from the last example. here in new york, especially with people of my generation "if you're not with us, you're against us". i personally don't support the LGBT community. this in no way or form means that i look down upon them, or dislike people who are homosexual. but because of my beliefs i do not support them. BUT that itself (me not supporting the LGBT community) kind of like a deviant act here (again in NYC) because here everyone fights about who's wrong and who's right. i remain neutral and its like everyone tries to prove me wrong, when in reality i'm not even trying to prove myself right.
5) not voting- again, because of my beliefs i choose to remain politically neutral. but people go crazy when you say you don't vote. "its un-american" "its your duty". while i understand all of the arguments its still my choice whether or not i want to do it or not.
6) (on a less serious/personal note) interracial couples - again this is on the fence because here in NYC we are a hodgepodge of different ethnicity. but there's always that kind of unspoken rule that you can only be in a relationship with someone of your same race/ethnicity. (those crazy racist old people...i'm kidding, sort of) that's why whenever me and my friend see and interracial couple, we applaud them.
in the article The Positive Functions of the Undeserving Poor by Herbert Gans, he speaks about different functions that the poor essentially provide to society. this article was eye opening and very depressing. one part that hit me hard was the part where he talks about spatial purification,those words in itself are so demeaning. about how we can just tear down areas where the "poor" live to raise new high risers and make the area much more fitting for "wealthy taxpayers". or how we basically use the poor people areas like a dust pan to put homeless shelters and other things that would be unwanted in the nicer areas. its sad because i feel like nyc definitely does this all over the place. just behind my building they tore down the old stores/building that burned down in a fire they're building a high rise luxury condo. and then they keep the "thrift stores" "charity places" in areas where its closer to the projects while keeping everything nice and shiny in the newly developed neighborhoods.
1) atheism- for the longest time (okay more like between 1st - 5th grade) i didn't know about atheist. i didn't necessarily believe that everyone was a christian or whatever. i just always thought that everyone believed in some form of religion. when i moved back to new york city in the 6th grade is when i first encountered an atheist classmate. and this shocked me, not in the "WTF" kind of way but more like the "wow really?" kind of way because its my norm to have some form of religion.
2) teenage pregnancy- i've always known about teenage pregnancy. but the first time i encountered it in person was also in middle school (as you can tell, middle school was a tough time). one of my classmates was reportedly pregnant. word spread like wildfire and she became shunned and looked down upon. because its "not normal" for a teenager to get pregnant.
3) LGBT - this is on the fence. being homosexual is now becoming more common especially here in new york, because heck, new york is full of people who embrace differences. but in general the social norm in america is to be a straight, heterosexual person.
4) not supporting LGBT community- i decided to separate this from the last example. here in new york, especially with people of my generation "if you're not with us, you're against us". i personally don't support the LGBT community. this in no way or form means that i look down upon them, or dislike people who are homosexual. but because of my beliefs i do not support them. BUT that itself (me not supporting the LGBT community) kind of like a deviant act here (again in NYC) because here everyone fights about who's wrong and who's right. i remain neutral and its like everyone tries to prove me wrong, when in reality i'm not even trying to prove myself right.
5) not voting- again, because of my beliefs i choose to remain politically neutral. but people go crazy when you say you don't vote. "its un-american" "its your duty". while i understand all of the arguments its still my choice whether or not i want to do it or not.
6) (on a less serious/personal note) interracial couples - again this is on the fence because here in NYC we are a hodgepodge of different ethnicity. but there's always that kind of unspoken rule that you can only be in a relationship with someone of your same race/ethnicity. (those crazy racist old people...i'm kidding, sort of) that's why whenever me and my friend see and interracial couple, we applaud them.
in the article The Positive Functions of the Undeserving Poor by Herbert Gans, he speaks about different functions that the poor essentially provide to society. this article was eye opening and very depressing. one part that hit me hard was the part where he talks about spatial purification,those words in itself are so demeaning. about how we can just tear down areas where the "poor" live to raise new high risers and make the area much more fitting for "wealthy taxpayers". or how we basically use the poor people areas like a dust pan to put homeless shelters and other things that would be unwanted in the nicer areas. its sad because i feel like nyc definitely does this all over the place. just behind my building they tore down the old stores/building that burned down in a fire they're building a high rise luxury condo. and then they keep the "thrift stores" "charity places" in areas where its closer to the projects while keeping everything nice and shiny in the newly developed neighborhoods.
like a MAN. like a WOMAN. how do you see yourself?: socialization
i watched two videos. one was "Killing Us Softly" and the other "A Call To Men"
Killing Us Softly was a documentary done by Jean Kilbourne. It spoke about how advertisements send messages about how we as people are supposed to be portrayed, particularly women. the depiction of how women are supposed to look and even act. In countless advertisements women are portrayed as flawless. No blemishes, ridiculously skinny, tall, not a single hair is put out of place. Which is absolutely not even possible in reality. Not only were they flawless but they were also created into objects. They were posed and placed alongside products that were reminiscent of male genitalia. Down on all fours just to be used a foot stool for a man.
What was also shown, was that the poses women/girls are made to do are always portraying them as timid, shy, quiet, even silent. Whereas when compared with pictures of men, the men are always shown as tall, tough, macho, loud, and domineering.
"A Call to Men" by Tony Porter spoke about the Man Box. This sort of mold that males have to fit into in order to be considered a man. The Man Box states that men should never show emotion in public except for anger. They can't show fear. They must be dominant especially over women. Heterosexual, "do not be like a gay man." "Do not be 'like a women'" Tough, athletic, strong, courageous, makes decisions, does not need help. To view women as property/objects. Macho macho man. And this idea of fitting into the man box is instilled into young boys from the beginning "stop crying. be a man." I can't tell you how many times I hear guys say this.
He also gives his experience having to do with his former peer who had invited Tony into his home to rape a girl. This peer treated the girl like a sex toy. Not only did this peer invited Tony, but he invited the who neighborhood. She's mentally ill now. He also gives the experience where at a funeral his father cried only when the women weren't around. Even going so far as to apologize for crying.
Boys must act like boys. Girls must act like girls. Anything opposite is incomprehensible
This isn't the first time I've heard this sort of thing. For a long time i've known that advertising always had subliminal messages. About the ideal sort of women that you have to be, and if you're not, you're worthless. That if you're a man, and you cry, people might think less of you. That if you don't fit the mold that is given to you at birth, you are outcast, weird, "abnormal". I think about how much money women spend in order to pursue this unattainable beauty, this flawless face and body that's only possible in Photoshop.I think about how hard it must be for guys to not be able to express emotion, and to be ridiculed if they ever do so. About how both men and women struggle with themselves because they don't have "washboard abs" because they have a little bit of fat here and there. CELLULITE! the word has taken on a taboo.
and these ideals are taught to us from birth. through media. this is part of what socialization is. think about it, we turn on the TV and what kind of people do you see in those ads. not fat people, no. not unless they're selling the latest weight loss product. no, what you see is the "healthy" "happy" people who are so "happy" because of the latest whatever that just came out.
and this gets implanted into our minds, we want to be just as "happy" as those people on TV are.
The article Parents' Socialization of Children talks about how different parenting styles affect how the child will grow up. i'm happy with the way my parents brought me up. both of my parents are pretty much authoritative. so i grew up with supportive parents. well rounded thankfully. not only were they authoritative but they also kept my mind open to new things. . i used to love playing with cars and legos, just as well as much as i loved my Spice Girls barbies. I played with all of the colors. I wore dresses and also hand me downs from my brother.
the Retro Wife is about a woman who decides that she would stay as a stay at home wife in order to take care of her child and family. now because of the way that i was socialized by the media, this is outrageous. its anti feminist in a way. that she decides to live on whatever her husband brings back. but at the same time, because of the way i was socialized by my parents this sort of life style isn't bad at all. its old fashioned yes, but that's the way it used to be "back in the day". in the Philippines, sometimes moms really do stay at home all the time in order to take care of her child. in some cases, that sort of lifestyle is ideal.
how do you see yourself? we need to reflect on how this world is molding us. how it molds our thinking. and we need to try to think out of the box.
you are under my control: power
usually when we think about someone having power over someone its met with a negative view. and why not? i mean look at for example, the milgram experience. in that experiment people were subject to putting another person in harms way because they were "told do to it"and that "the experiment requires you to continue" let's break that down. the words that were used to make the "teacher" continue were in itself very demanding sounding kind of words. words that made them feel pressured to be obedient. "requires" essential" "you have no other choice". not only do the words sound dominating, but they also make you feel in a way afraid of what happens if you do not comply with the authorities order. there's a feeling of powerlessness, that you don't have the power to do anything about.
in the reading there was a section that particularly mentioned about the culture of silence. this reminded me of a time where in 5th grade, me and a couple of friends were being bullied by the "special needs" kids. and they had framed us to make it look like we were the ones bullying them. the school guidance counselor took me and my friends out of our class to reprimand us. so in a way, this was a form of that culture of silence. we were oppressed not only by the guidance counselor but also by those other kids. the fear of speaking out against those with more legitimate power and more authority. now i constantly wonder what would have happened if just one of us had told the guidance counselor the truth.
when we think "power" i think that most of us fear it so much because of coercive power. we're afraid of the punishment that follows. and i can't blame you. i'm afraid of it too.
but i think about it again, and sometimes "power" can be used in a good way. more of a guidance tool than that of control. i mean, our parents have power over us. but they use it in more of guidance tool than that of which to control us.
so i guess that depending on how "power" is used, affects the way that it is perceived. "good vs evil" so to speak =P
in the reading there was a section that particularly mentioned about the culture of silence. this reminded me of a time where in 5th grade, me and a couple of friends were being bullied by the "special needs" kids. and they had framed us to make it look like we were the ones bullying them. the school guidance counselor took me and my friends out of our class to reprimand us. so in a way, this was a form of that culture of silence. we were oppressed not only by the guidance counselor but also by those other kids. the fear of speaking out against those with more legitimate power and more authority. now i constantly wonder what would have happened if just one of us had told the guidance counselor the truth.
when we think "power" i think that most of us fear it so much because of coercive power. we're afraid of the punishment that follows. and i can't blame you. i'm afraid of it too.
but i think about it again, and sometimes "power" can be used in a good way. more of a guidance tool than that of control. i mean, our parents have power over us. but they use it in more of guidance tool than that of which to control us.
so i guess that depending on how "power" is used, affects the way that it is perceived. "good vs evil" so to speak =P
pieces of me: photo voice on my culture.
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my religion has given me values. always putting first the kingdom. treating people the way i want to be treated. being humble. having a self sacrificing spirit. and learning to love one another. its taught me that it doesn't matter what your background is, what you look like, what your past was...we're all friends. and this sort of family is very important to have for me.
something else that has shaped my culture is my cultural background. my parents both came from the Philippines. I, however, was born here in New York. So i'm very much so Americanized. But i still have some parts that are considered the norm for Filipinos. For example, the standard of beauty for Filipinos (for all Asians really) I grew up believing that to be beautiful i needed to have flawless pale skin, silky long black hair, i needed to be petite and a size 6 or under. which is funny now that i think about it because the only thing i have out of there is black hair and short height. and its even funnier to think that, only 1 in 20 Filipinas i know have all of that. The Philippines is an island country, and almost everyone there gets very very tan. so i grew up thinking that i had to be all of that. now? i'm just sort of whatever about that norm. so in that sense, my norm has morphed into a more americanized thinking, where differences and unique qualities are to be celebrated.
i've been to the Philippines once, in 2005/2006. i was 14 years old, a born and raised american landing on this small island. and let me tell you, the culture shock was about as drastic as the heat. air conditioning was a luxury most couldn't afford, the shower didn't work so you had to boil water and use a "tabo" to take a bath. girls there were very girly, and very skinny. boys tried being cool. picture taking was done in front of every single iconic landmark. i knew some tagalog, but my first language has always been english. i was in the Philippines for almost a month. i spent that first week trying to understand what everyone was saying. my tagalog did eventually get good enough to get by. the material culture was so ridiculously important, my cousins were always asking me to buy them the latest game or clothing. to them, it was important to have brand names, where as for me, i never really cared before. the non material culture was so different as well. the biggest behavior that weirded me out was how Filipinos are usually very quiet when it comes to things that bother them, but they gossip like there is no tomorrow! thats a big part of Filipino culture, and any Filipino who says otherwise, is lying. 
Filipinos are also a very traditional country. Our objects and artifacts are very important to witholding our ethnic culture. During fancy/formal events guys would wear "barongs" and women would wear "maria claras" . Both clothing are very European based, due to the fact that the Philippines have been occupied by so many different countries (i.e. Spain and America) The more intricate the details on your dress, or barong, the better. Clothes really do make the man in the Philippines.
With all of these different aspects and all of this knowledge about my culture shapes me into the person that i am, and the person i am growing to be. And as i keep learning, i'll keep growing.
pushed over the edge: "teenage wasteland"
i read an article called "teenage wasteland". the article itself talks about teenage suicide and what pushes one to take their own lives.
this article really hit close to home for me. when i was in middle school, one of my closest friends (lets call her Jane) had revealed to me and our group of frinds that she was cutting herself. oddly enough none of our group of friends (including myself) thought much about it. in fact, it was almost glorified. we would all talk about how and where we cut ourselves, or tried to commit suicide. i myself never cut myself, but i felt the urge to lie about it so that i wouldn't be so left out of the group. in a way, it made us closer. we used to have xanga accounts and we'd write about heartbreak and other reasons why life sucked. one day, me and another friend were in class. the guidance counselor opened the door and had called me and her out of the class. she told us that my friend Jane had just been taken to the hospital. Jane had come to school that day with a fresh cut which she was hiding in her sleeve. but my teacher noticed something was wrong and they found the cut. "she was bleeding so much that we had to call the ambulance." I was told that she had just missed her vein and that she would be held in the hospital under surveillance. she was missing from school for over a month. she wrote to me once, telling me how much she wanted me to visit but that they wouldn't let her put my name down for the list because i was too young. we all worried about her so much, and suddenly cutting and suicide became more of a reality to me. i had regular appointments with the guidance counselor so that they could keep an eye on me too, since i was the closest to Jane. Jane came back to school when me and my friends were on our lunch break one day, me and my friends heard about the news and ran back to school and up 4 flights of stairs to welcome her back. Jane had a few relapses over the years, she was in and out of the hospital a lot during middle school. me and Jane went to high school together afterwards, and one day i had the guts to talk to her about it. to ask why. because even though i was also depressed, i was never pushed that close to the edge. she told me that it was because she wanted some attention, she was jealous of her brother who was in the army and loved by her whole family. basically, she couldn't be perfect.
reading this article reminded me of that part of my life. and it reminded me that we as humans are "our own worst enemy". we constantly try to be perfect in one way or another. when in reality, "perfection" is relative and there isn't really a set standard for perfection. its only the standard that we put for ourselves. and when we are putting that much pressure on ourselves we are going to hurt ourselves. we might say that we like being "average" or even try to glorify being "weirdos". but in reality, very few of the "weirdos" actually like being "weird".
it also reminded me that suicide is a hard thing to understand. in the end of the article Donna Gaines mentions about how some would always ask "why?" "why did they do it?" "why didn't they just leave?" some people blame depression, and a "chemical imbalance" for the root of suicides. but me? i blame people for it. there are so many "standards" that are being set, and unless you meet such standards you're deemed "below average". what is average when it comes to types of people that we ought to be really? i can't understand how people can be called average in that sense. and for some people (including myself) when you hear "below average" in this sense, i hear "worthless" instead. and i've been told to correct my thinking because i think that way. but its not something i can really change.
the problem with fieldwork.
"the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome" - The Observer Effect.
When one goes into ethnography, they have to adapt to their new surroundings. They must embrace another culture and "gain the trust" of the people that they are going to be observing. It also requires intimacy with the people. I mean think about it, if you were an ethnographer, your purpose is to find out and study a group that's not of your own, and then you have to take what you learn and use that information in order to teach and educate others, those who are also not part of that group. But there are problems with this sort of research.There's bias, researchers's work is affected by their own personal opinions and "preconceived attitudes". The article says that "Good Ethnography is systematic, rigorous, scientific." But no matter how scientific and systematic a person is, we (as imperfect human beings) are always holding people to our standards of being.
Another problem...the quote above "the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome." That is the observer effect, and while that mainly pertains to physics, can it not also be true regarding observing people? Think about it. When you know that you're being watched, you may act differently from how you normally act. Not to say you're going to act completely different. But even slight changes in the way you speak or the way you move, those are all being observed and recorded, when in fact that's not how you would be under normal circumstances. In the textbook it is called the Hawthorne Effect - the fact that human beings will react differently because they know they are in a study.
From personal experience, I know that when i know I'm being watched and in a way "judged" I certainly act differently. depending on who I am with, I will even go so far as to talk in a different manner. around teachers and older people i'll be more formal.when i'm around younger ones and friends i am very casual in my speech. so an adult's perception of me, can be completely different from how someone of my age group perceives me.
In reality though, even though there are ways of dealing with the Hawthorne effect, it's completely in human nature to act differently around different people and different scenarios. Observation is one of the main tools we have at our use in order to gain information about things. But its also flawed, and prone to so many variables. "It Depends"
When one goes into ethnography, they have to adapt to their new surroundings. They must embrace another culture and "gain the trust" of the people that they are going to be observing. It also requires intimacy with the people. I mean think about it, if you were an ethnographer, your purpose is to find out and study a group that's not of your own, and then you have to take what you learn and use that information in order to teach and educate others, those who are also not part of that group. But there are problems with this sort of research.There's bias, researchers's work is affected by their own personal opinions and "preconceived attitudes". The article says that "Good Ethnography is systematic, rigorous, scientific." But no matter how scientific and systematic a person is, we (as imperfect human beings) are always holding people to our standards of being.
Another problem...the quote above "the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome." That is the observer effect, and while that mainly pertains to physics, can it not also be true regarding observing people? Think about it. When you know that you're being watched, you may act differently from how you normally act. Not to say you're going to act completely different. But even slight changes in the way you speak or the way you move, those are all being observed and recorded, when in fact that's not how you would be under normal circumstances. In the textbook it is called the Hawthorne Effect - the fact that human beings will react differently because they know they are in a study.
From personal experience, I know that when i know I'm being watched and in a way "judged" I certainly act differently. depending on who I am with, I will even go so far as to talk in a different manner. around teachers and older people i'll be more formal.when i'm around younger ones and friends i am very casual in my speech. so an adult's perception of me, can be completely different from how someone of my age group perceives me.
In reality though, even though there are ways of dealing with the Hawthorne effect, it's completely in human nature to act differently around different people and different scenarios. Observation is one of the main tools we have at our use in order to gain information about things. But its also flawed, and prone to so many variables. "It Depends"
who am i?
(and not the les miserable song...=P)
i'll be honest...this is slightly awkward...
so, who am i?
i'm an idealist. (i took the "jung and briggs myer typology test. i am INFP - the healer.) i'm an idealist living in a realist world. you can imagine how tough that gets. for me, the glass is half full because i drank out of it, and its also half empty in constant need of a refill.
i'm an artist. and no i can't draw, i can't paint, i can't really play the guitar (although i'm hoping that will change). i'm an amateur photographer, and by amateur i mean that its a hobby. but i've always liked the idea of preserving something as precious as a single moment in a roll of film. music has always been a big thing in my life, i grew up singing everything and anything. i am a writer, because through writing i'm able to express my ideas without worrying about saying something i don't mean. i don't express myself very well speaking, writing makes up for it.
i grew up in a very typical asian household surrounded by immediate family and also extended family. i was taught how to survive on my own from an early age. i was born in new york city and raised half here and half in jersey, which is where most of my closest friends live. these people have been the some of the greatest influences on my life ever.
i'm a student at a cuny college hoping to become a high school english teacher.
i've always wanted to be the person who inspired other people. to give guidance and be the one that people could depend on and always look to for help. so i was inspired to become a teacher because of the teachers i've had who have taught me life lessons in addition to curriculum lessons, the teachers who were more than just teachers, they were friends. i've always felt that my purpose in life was to help others, and i find that the ones i want to help most are the young ones. i can't thank those who were there for me in my (not so distant) youth, and how they've guided me through the hardest parts of my life.
now, what are some historical or social events that have shaped me and in turn shaped the way i see the world?
i am one of jehovah's witnesses. i was raised around the truth by my parents and i chose to be baptized, november 2 2002. this is my history, and it has molded me into the person that i am today. i guess faith (or a lack there of) always plays a large role when it comes to how you grow up. not only does it give you an understanding of whats right and whats wrong, but it also effects the way that people treat you. for a long time, i didn't understand why people made fun of us or even hated us. but as i grew up i gained the ability to see how others may view my faith., my religion. it's funny though because not a lot of people understand what we do and why we do it. i imagine sometimes what would've happened if i had not chose to become one of jehovah's witnesses, and i have to say, i look pretty miserable in that alternative dimension.
i'll be honest...this is slightly awkward...
so, who am i?
i'm an idealist. (i took the "jung and briggs myer typology test. i am INFP - the healer.) i'm an idealist living in a realist world. you can imagine how tough that gets. for me, the glass is half full because i drank out of it, and its also half empty in constant need of a refill.
i'm an artist. and no i can't draw, i can't paint, i can't really play the guitar (although i'm hoping that will change). i'm an amateur photographer, and by amateur i mean that its a hobby. but i've always liked the idea of preserving something as precious as a single moment in a roll of film. music has always been a big thing in my life, i grew up singing everything and anything. i am a writer, because through writing i'm able to express my ideas without worrying about saying something i don't mean. i don't express myself very well speaking, writing makes up for it.
i grew up in a very typical asian household surrounded by immediate family and also extended family. i was taught how to survive on my own from an early age. i was born in new york city and raised half here and half in jersey, which is where most of my closest friends live. these people have been the some of the greatest influences on my life ever.
i'm a student at a cuny college hoping to become a high school english teacher.
i've always wanted to be the person who inspired other people. to give guidance and be the one that people could depend on and always look to for help. so i was inspired to become a teacher because of the teachers i've had who have taught me life lessons in addition to curriculum lessons, the teachers who were more than just teachers, they were friends. i've always felt that my purpose in life was to help others, and i find that the ones i want to help most are the young ones. i can't thank those who were there for me in my (not so distant) youth, and how they've guided me through the hardest parts of my life.
now, what are some historical or social events that have shaped me and in turn shaped the way i see the world?
i am one of jehovah's witnesses. i was raised around the truth by my parents and i chose to be baptized, november 2 2002. this is my history, and it has molded me into the person that i am today. i guess faith (or a lack there of) always plays a large role when it comes to how you grow up. not only does it give you an understanding of whats right and whats wrong, but it also effects the way that people treat you. for a long time, i didn't understand why people made fun of us or even hated us. but as i grew up i gained the ability to see how others may view my faith., my religion. it's funny though because not a lot of people understand what we do and why we do it. i imagine sometimes what would've happened if i had not chose to become one of jehovah's witnesses, and i have to say, i look pretty miserable in that alternative dimension.